Cranky But Okay

I’m tired and cranky and I don’t want to do this anymore. I want the Doctor to come in their TARDIS and take me to the future. It doesn’t have to be far, maybe a year, and I promise I won’t Back to the Future anything – I just want this done.

10 Great TARDIS Moments from 'Doctor Who' | Anglophenia | BBC America

I think the massive amount of chemicals they’ve pumped me full of is wreaking havoc on my mood. Two weeks from tomorrow can’t get here soon enough.


I started writing this blog to keep people updated on my health and I do have some updates to share. While I am almost done with my treatments, I still have more work ahead of me.

I have my third MRI scheduled for next week. It hopefully won’t be as traumatic as my MRI biopsy, where my IV went sideways and the surgeon couldn’t find a spot on the scan and wanted to redo the biopsy days before I started chemo. MRIs are already disturbing, with the irregular loud thumps, claustrophobia, and isolation so please cross your fingers that this goes smoothly.

A few days after the MRI, I will meet with my surgeon and she will go over the plan with me. My surgery is tentatively scheduled for November 11th.

Clinic, Medical, Health Care, Disease, Emergency Room


While I think the worst is behind me, I am still cranky. I am so full of chemicals that I don’t feel like myself any more. My brain is slow and gunky. I don’t want to have to take things easy, sleep too much, or stay inside my bubble of quarantine and isolation. I just want things to be normal – whatever that means these days.

Gargoyle, Grumpy, Statue, Lawn Ornament, Creepy

I’ve had a few iffy nights of sleep, my chest feels heavy and I’m anxious more than I’d like. It could be the chemo, the state of the world, the election or a myriad of other reasons. Symptoms like these are tricky because they are so vague and everything is connected. I’m pretty sure it’s not the cancer making me feel iffy, but it’s not helping.

Humor Me?

I really am doing okay, though. I don’t like feeling this way, but it will pass. I’m allowing myself some time to feel grumpy before trying to reset and get on with things.

One thing you could do to make me feel better is to make sure your voter information is up to date. Even if you haven’t moved in years, please humor me and double check your voter registration. If you live in Washington state, click here to make sure your ballot is going to be mailed to the right address. If you live elsewhere, check here to find your polling place.

Facts vs. myths for the 2020 primary election (sponsored)

Election day 2016 was one of the worst days I had while working at the library. It was crazy busy all day and there were so many people who had no idea how voting worked – that they had to register to vote, update their information if they moved, and only vote by mail in WA. I helped a lot of people that day, but it made me lose a lot of faith in the voting process. This year people won’t be able to stop in to the library to print a ballot, so take 30 seconds and make sure you will have a voice in this election.


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  1. Go ahead and feel cranky for now. As long as you know that there are better times ahead, you’ll be ok. Just know we’re with you and we love you. And try calling the Doctor–it can’t hurt…

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